Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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