i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
