He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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