Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
