nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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