She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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