You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
