we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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