this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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