Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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