There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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