no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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