i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
