I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
