I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
