sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
