i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
