Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
