ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
