Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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