He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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