you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
