alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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