I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize