its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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