3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
