..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
