I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
