Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Boobs speak an international language.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
