Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
