So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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