She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I need water and some morals
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
