Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
