Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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