Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
