So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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