so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
