well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
