im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I party with great urgency now.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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