I'm lost and stupid without you.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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