just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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