I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
