I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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