They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
