I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
