Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I just put wine in my tea
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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