I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
