problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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