You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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