is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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