So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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