Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
