You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
