I got chris browned last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Randomize
