your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
