Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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