South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
