I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
